Brussel Sprout Salad and a Coconut Mahi Mahi

What is wrong with me? (Shut up! it is a rhetorical question) I have lost my cooking mojo. I really haven't felt inspired to be cooking. What I am doing is slapping together edibles. There IS a difference. This weekend we felt like something braised. It was snowing and cold. We had some short ribs in the freezer from Whippoorwill Farm. Perfect. Well maybe not. I chose a recipe from an unnamed source. This unnamed source is a comfort food kind of gal person. Unfortunately this recipe didn't cut it. Live and learn.



Move on to Monday night. I had Mahi Mahi in the refridge. I had Brussel Sprouts. I didn't feel like either.



I have to tell you that this Brussel Sprout Salad is my new favorite. It is so so good. You have to try it. I swear you will like it.



I also made Coconut Mahi Mahi. It was really good too. Whole dinner took under an hour.



This morning I made Vanilla (shhhhh don't tell Dr. Food that I used his good bourbon to make it). I also made a keffir lime extract. I figure I can use it in baking and ice cream and stuff.

From the Archives

December 2005



Lily getting festive.




Nikko before she got obese and skanky.



My redwood burl. I had an obsession with redwood burls. Still do but I aint in California no more.

Ok, this isn't working out. I better end this post...WAIT!



Shaved Brussels Sprouts Salad
CHOW


2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon finely chopped shallot (about 1/2 medium)
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more as needed
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, plus more as needed
2 peeled hard-boiled eggs
1 1/2 pounds Brussels sprouts, discolored or tough outer leaves removed
1/4 cup olive oil
1/3 cup toasted pine nuts
1 tablespoon finely grated Parmesan cheese, grated on the small holes of a box grater



Combine the lemon juice, zest, mustard, shallot, and measured salt and pepper in a medium, nonreactive bowl; set aside.

Grate the eggs on the large holes of a box grater; set aside.

Holding on to the stem end of the Brussels sprouts, thinly slice them crosswise until you get within 1/2 inch of the stem. Discard the stems and place the sliced sprouts in a large bowl, breaking up the layers and discarding any tough pieces; set aside.

While whisking continuously, slowly drizzle the oil into the shallot mixture until all of the oil is incorporated.

Add the pine nuts and half of the grated eggs to the Brussels sprouts and drizzle with the dressing. Gently toss until combined. Let sit at room temperature until the sprouts slightly soften and the flavors meld, about 15 minutes.

Toss the salad again to redistribute the dressing. Taste and season with salt and pepper as needed. Transfer to a serving dish, top with the remaining eggs, and sprinkle with the Parmesan.


Thai Mahi Mahi
Adapted from Gluten Free Real Food

2 T coconut oil
5 cloves garlic, finely minced
1/2 onion, finely minced
1 T ginger, grated
1 can organic coconut milk
4 kafir lime leaves
2 T fish sauce
5 pieces Mahi Mahi

In a large saute pan heat coconut oil over medium heat. Add minced garlic and onion. Saute for approximately 5 minutes until soft. Add ginger. Saute for another couple of minutes. Add coconut milk, lime leaves and fish sauce. Stir to combine. Add Mahi Mahi without overlapping. Spoon sauce over top so that the fish is submersed so it will poach. Cook on medium heat for approximately 10 minutes or until fish is done.

A Beef Stew with a Beet and Kimchi Stew

I have been bored with cooking lately. There. I said it. I guess it is because I am not really too hungry these days. Bad allergies and lots of Pseudoephedrine does that to a gal. So, I will give to you the two dishes that I haven't already shared that I have actually cooked in the last couple of weeks. I don't suppose you want the phone number to the local pizza place.



When I saw this recipe had beets in it AND horseradish, I was intrigued. I had some beets in the refrig that I wanted to use so it was a perfect choice. The meat was from Whipporwhill Farm and I wanted to make something good.



The verdict? It was good. Not company fare but a solid meal that was perfect for a cold day.

Want to see the cutest boy ever? Yes you do!



(Waving to Parker! Grammy loves you more than anything in the whole world!)

Ok, onto the Kimchi (Parker and Kimchi are my favorites)



Enter: Pork Belly.



Exhibit B: Kimchi that I made a while back.




Got this recipe from the book "Kimchi Chronicles" Have I ever told you how much I love Marja Vongerichten? I do. This is the woman that guided me (when I was in New York) through tweets (that was before my NO TWEET policy) to her favorite Korean restaurants. I ate at both.



I really loved this. I will make it again for sure.

Ok, one more Parker moment. After all he is the cutest little boy ever.








Kimchi Jjigae (Kimchi Stew)
Kimchi Chronicles


2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil
1 pound pork belly, cut into 1/4-inch dice
Coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 large yellow onion, coarsely chopped
3 cups coarsely chopped kimchi with a bit of its liquid (use the most pungent, sour kimchi available for best flavor)
1 tablespoon fish sauce or dashida
1 slice American cheese (optional)
5 scallions, thinly sliced
About ¼ cup thinly sliced gim for garnish





Beef, Beer, and Barley Stew

Cooking Light
NOVEMBER 2002


2 tablespoons olive oil $
1 pound beef stew meat $
1 teaspoon salt, divided
1/4 teaspoon black pepper $
3 cups coarsely chopped onion $
2 bay leaves
2 thyme sprigs
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 cups (1 1/2-inch-thick) slices carrot $
2 cups chopped peeled turnips (about 1 pound) $
3/4 cup uncooked pearl barley
5 garlic cloves, minced and divided $
2 (8-ounce) packages mushrooms, quartered $
3 cups water
3 cups low-salt beef broth $
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 (12-ounce) bottle dark beer (such as stout) $
3 small beets
3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
1 teaspoon thyme leaves
2 tablespoons prepared horseradish
Preparation

Heat oil in a stockpot over medium-high heat. Sprinkle beef with 1/2 teaspoon salt and pepper. Add beef to pan; sauté 10 minutes or until browned. Remove from pan. Add onion, bay leaves, and thyme sprigs to pan. Cover, reduce heat, and cook 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Uncover; stir in tomato paste. Increase heat to medium-high. Add carrot, turnips, barley, 4 garlic cloves, and mushrooms; sauté 3 minutes. Add beef, 1/2 teaspoon salt, water, broth, Worcestershire, and beer; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, covered, for 1 1/2 hours. Discard bay leaves and thyme sprigs.

While stew is simmering, trim beets, leaving root and 1 inch stem on each; scrub with a brush. Place in a medium saucepan, and cover with water; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 35 minutes or until tender. Drain; rinse with cold water. Drain; cool. Leave root and 1 inch stem on each beet; rub off skins. Cut each beet into 6 wedges.

Combine parsley, thyme leaves, and 1 garlic clove. Ladle about 2 cups stew into each of 6 bowls. Top each serving with 3 beet wedges, about 1 1/2 teaspoons parsley mixture, and 1 teaspoon horseradish.

Thankful...

I just want to wish my friends and family Happy Thanksgiving. I wish we were all together celebrating but I am so thankful for all of you. I just wanted you to know that.

What? No, I am not being sarcastic. I mean it.

(waving to Julie)

Love,
Janis

My new best friends... A goat and a piece of Opah

Hi! What? I was a grump in my last post? Well, I have a sinus infection that won't go away. I will be nicer in this post. Ok? No, really. Here is the conversation I had in my head:

Head: I hope no one was insulted by my last post.

Me: Pfft, as if anyone really gives a damn.

Head: You never know. You might have hit a nerve for some.

Me: NO ONE reads this blog.

Head: Oh yes they do and the last post made you look like a drama queen. Mom even said that she never saw me be mean in a post before.

Me: SHUT UP...My theory was right.

Ok lets move on.



GOAT! We have a freezer with lots of goat in it. So, this weekend when we wanted to cook we decided on a goat curry out of Vij cookbook.



This recipe was really good. I would make it again for sure.

e

This dish was Eggplant and Butternut squash. I have to say that it looked just like the Goat Curry. Don't tell Dr. Food but I didn't like it. Ew. The texture of it grossed me out. Ew ew ew... Ok, I tend to be a little dramatic (but not about Twitter. THAT was for a good reason that I broke up with it).



The green onions were good.



Next recipe that I wanted to share (No, we didn't have it the same night) is Opah. We bought it at Wegman's and gave it a try. I loved it.



It was made with a mayo mixture of Siracha and mayo. The panko was seasoned as well.



Monday night dinner. Not real exciting but really good.




Vij’s Stewed Cinnamon-Scented Goat or Lamb Curry

4 to 5 tbsp ghee (purified butter) or canola oil
1 tbsp cumin seeds
2 large onions, chopped
7 large cloves garlic, chopped (about 1 oz)
1 tbsp finely chopped or lightly crushed ginger
2 tbsp ground cumin
2 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp turmeric
10 cloves
1 cinnamon stick, 2 inches long (add another stick if you prefer a stronger taste)
1 tsp ground cayenne pepper
2 tbsp salt
5 ripe tomatoes, chopped (about 1 1/2 lbs)
1 cup plain yogurt, stirred
1 cup water
1/4 cup canola oil
2 lbs leg of lamb or goat, fat trimmed, cut in 1 1/2 inch cubes
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro

Melt Ghee (or 4 tbsp of oil) on medium heat in a large, heavy stockpot. Add cumin seeds and sauté until they sizzle, about 45 seconds. Add onions and sauté until golden brown, about 8 to 10 minutes. Add garlic and sauté 2 to 3 minutes, or until golden brown. Stir in ginger. After 1 minute, add ground cumin, coriander, turmeric, cloves, cinnamon, cayenne, and salt. Cook on medium heat, stirring regularly, for 5 to 10 minutes or until ghee (or oil) separates from the spices. Add another tablespoon of ghee or oil if spices are sticking to the bottom of the pot.

Add tomatoes and cook for 3 to 4 minutes, until ghee (or oil) separates again and glistens. Stir in yogurt and cook for another 1 to 2 minutes, then add water (add an extra cup of water if serving with rice). Bring to a boil, then remove from the heat.

In another large, heavy frying pan, add 1/4 cup oil (make sure there is enough to lightly cover the bottom of the pan). On medium to high heat, sauté lamb (or goat), stirring regularly, until you notice small, thin lines of blood on the meat. Remove from the heat and transfer meat to the stew.

Return stew to medium-low heat and cook covered, stirring occasionally, for 2 hours or until meat is cooked through. Add more water, 1/2 cup at a time, if the stew becomes dry while cooking. This should be a moist, thick curry.

Just before serving, remove cinnamon stick and cloves. Stir in cilantro.


PANKO CRUSTED OPAH
Tate Edward

4-6 good sized Opah fillets

Spread:
1 cup mayonnaise
1 loose Tbl fresh chopped dill
1-3 cloves minced garlic depending on how much you like garlic.
1+ Tbl(s) Sriracha brand hot chili sauce, just how hot do you want it adjust to your taste if it gets too hot add a little more mayonnaise.

salt and pepper to taste but go a little light on the salt, a pinch of each is good.

Seasoned Panko breadcrumbs:
3 cups Panko breadcrumbs
1 Tbl dried parsley
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp dried oregano crushed
salt and pepper to taste


Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees

1. mix together the ingredients for the spread and let sit in the refrigerator for 10 or 15 minutes

2. place tin foil on a cookie sheet or half sheet pan and lightly spread with olive oil

3. sprinkle salt and pepper on the foil and place Opah fillets on foil place them together on pan as if making one big fillet then salt and pepper the fillets

4. take spread and cover fillets generously

5. take seasoned Panko or regular seasoned breadcrumbs and cover the fillets, pat then add more if needed, there should be no spread showing.

6. place in oven and bake for 15-20 minutes (depending on thickness of fillets) check for doneness by touch (should be slightly firm but with some give) or with a fork in the middle fillet cover hole with crust. If crust is browning too quickly cover with foil. If not quite done, place back in oven and check again in about five minutes… if crust needs additional browning broil quickly for no more than two minutes—taking care that crust does not burn!

Ahem... Ok, here it goes

I am not sure where to start. I don't want to sound snotty or mean or anything. I just want to be honest. I am pairing way down on social media. No really. This means that I no longer will be on Twitter. The friends I have made know that they can reach me. If they are friends they will and if they aren't then it just goes to show ya...show you what I am not sure.

Here it goes...
I started out on social media back in the day of BBS's. Yup. I had my 1200Baud accoustical modem and away I went. David's Amazing BBS. Run by a very quirky David Dennis. Son of Jack Dennis. Come on, didn't any of you read The Cuckoo's Egg? So I was hooked. Back in 1985 I was in geek heaven. It then took a turn. My life changed and so did I. I ended up on Usenet and spent time on RFC (rec.food.cooking) and RFC (Recipes.food.cooking) I met Dr. Food on RFC. I met friends that I am still friends with. At the time I worked at RAND as a typesetter. As time went by so did technology. I was asked to learn HTML since it was a stupid cousin of a Unix language I was using. I learned. I played. I turned into their Web Women.

Lets fast forward to now. I am on Twitter. I am on Facebook. I hate both of them but can't stop looking. I am deleting Twitter. I am paring down Facebook to a list of people who are really my friends (goodbye high school people that never communicate with me anyhow). I am actually deleting anyone that I don't talk to via phone, email or who otherwise I have a current connection.

1. I am sick of self promotion. I don't care about listening to you tell me how amazing you are.

2. I am sick of being sold something.


3. I am sick of attention seekers.

4. I am sick of phoney.

5. I am sick of the self importance when none of it really matters.

6. I am done.

So, if you want to keep in touch that is great. You have my email. You might even have my phone number. If you don't have either, chances are you don't need to talk to me.

This blog? I do this blog for the people that really love me in real life. I also do it for others that like reading it. I do it for the practice of writing. I do it to amuse myself. Ok? I do NOT do it to get "famous" (which in this medium means a book deal) or to make people like me.

Thanks to you know who for putting shit into perspective for me. Your approach stunk but it made me open up my eyes. (No it wasn't Dr. Food)

Love Janis
janis@earthlink.net



Crow Pie:

1 crow
stuffing of your choice
salt and pepper
shortening
flour
2 Pie crust mixes
2-3 hard-boiled eggs

Stuff the crow. Loosen joints with a knife but do not cut through.
Simmer the crow in a stew-pan, with enough water to cover, until nearly tender, then season with salt and pepper. Remove meat from bones and set aside.
Prepare pie crusts as directed. (Do not bake)
Make a medium thick gravy with flour, shortening, and juices in which the crow has cooked and let cool.
Line a pie plate with pie crust and line with slices of hard-boiled egg. Place crow meat on top. Layer gravy over the crow. Place second pie dough crust over top.
Bake at 450 degrees for 1/2 hour.

Collected by Bert Christensen
Toronto, Ontario

I am not having fun but there is a recipe here...

See that picture? Those are the leaves on the front lawn. I am on strike. I am not raking. Dr. Food is away for 12 days and I am having a lousy time. I know I know. Everyone says to me (in a mock whisper behind their hand) "I LOVE when my husband goes away" So, here I will tell you a secret... I DON'T. I hate it. He is my best friend and I hate when he goes away. I don't like it at all. So what have I been doing while the good Dr. Food has been away?



It started off with me coming up with an idea for "Chai Masala Pumpkin Pie"



Besides the fact that it wouldn't bake and besides the fact that the crust wasn't too good and besides the fact that I hate Pumpkin Pie, THIS was really good. Ugly (and I don't know how it got the bloop on top of it that looks like someone stuck their hand in it) but good. I am going to give it another try.



What is this? This is the picture that Dr. Food sent me from the SUITE that he was staying in while in India. Awwww, poor Dr. Food. His suite (which he gave me a tour of over Skype) was 3 rooms with a bar and a bathroom that was amazing. They left this on his bed while he was out to dinner with a bunch of people that were trying to smooze him. Meanwhile this was me...



*I* ate GrUEl.



In between being taunted by Dr. Food and eating gruel, I made another apple pie. This time it was without the help of Jon Rowley.



I am still having an "issue" with the crust but I will practice until I get it right.



So, I did it with no help. It wasn't as much fun but I believe using both hands (not holding the phone in one) this pie came out even better than the first. I also found volunteers to eat it.



So, I was bored and wanted to cook. I wanted to try something out of the book "Cooking my way Back Home" by Mitchell Rosenthal. I chose to make Quattro Fromaggi with Butternut Squash and Sage. Sounds healthy no? It wasn't. It was mac and cheese (and by cheese I mean 4 different kinds) with butternut squash. I only ate the squash...no really.



This dish was really good and I can't wait to try the other stuff in this cookbook.



Oh, and I also made Kimchi...



I have given this recipe before. It is Kimchi Mom's recipe. I love it.



Ok, I need to go make another batch of Gruel.

Penne Pasta Quattro Formaggi with Butternut Squash and Sage
Recipe by Mitch Rosenthal

Ingredients

1-pound piece butternut squash, peeled and cut into large batons
3 Tbsp. olive oil, divided
1 Tbsp. chopped fresh sage
Salt and freshly ground pepper
1 pound penne pasta
1 Tbsp. olive oil
For cheese sauce:
3 Tbsp. unsalted butter
3 Tbsp. all–purpose flour
2 cups whole milk
2 cups heavy cream
11/3 cups grated Fontina
3/4 cup crumbled Point Reyes Original Blue, Maytag Blue, or other good-quality blue cheese
1/2 cup grated Pecorino Romano
3/4 cup grated Parmesan
Salt and freshly ground pepper
For topping:
4 thick slices coarse country bread such as pain levain
Few drops of olive oil
Salt and freshly ground pepper
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
1 Tbsp. chopped fresh sage
2 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted


Directions

Preheat the oven to 375°F. Place the squash in a bowl, drizzle with the 2 tablespoons of oil, sprinkle with the sage, and toss to coat evenly. Season with salt and pepper and toss again. Spread in a single layer on a sheet pan, place in the oven, and roast for 15 to 20 minutes, or until tender. Remove from the oven and set aside.

Bring a large pot filled with salted water to a boil. Add the penne, stir, and cook until al dente, according to package directions. Drain into a colander and hold under cold running water to stop the cooking. Transfer to a large bowl, drizzle with the remaining tablespoon of oil, and toss to coat.

To make the cheese sauce, in a saucepan, melt the butter over low heat. Whisk in the flour, then whisk constantly for 3 to 4 minutes to cook away the raw flour taste. Slowly add the milk and cream, whisking constantly to prevent lumps from forming. Raise the heat to medium and simmer, stirring occasionally, for about 15 minutes, or until reduced by a third. Remove from the heat, add all of the cheeses, and stir until melted. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.

To make the topping, cut off and discard the crusts from the bread slices, then cut the slices into cubes. Place the cubes in a food processor and pulse until fine crumbs form. Transfer to a bowl, add the oil, and season with salt and pepper, then toss to mix. Add the Parmesan and the sage, and stir to mix.

Preheat the oven to 400°F. Add the cheese sauce and squash to the pasta and stir to mix well. Transfer the mixture to a 9x13-inch baking dish and scatter the topping evenly over the surface. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until heated through, the topping is lightly browned, and the cheese sauce is bubbly. Serve immediately.

I feel so guilty about this Posole

I learned a lesson. I learned not to cuss out cookbook writers that have come through for me every time I have used their recipes. Especially ones that are friends. Ok, let me start at the beginning...



I was sent Grain Mains by Bruce Weinstein and Mark Scarbrough to try out some recipes. I kept wanting to make something and finally got around to picking out something to make. Everything looked new and wonderful. I picked the Posole recipe. Made with Hominy. I checked out the recipe and saw that I needed Pickling Lime. I did some research and saw I would have to order it online. I thought that hominy would be easy to find. It wasn't. I could only find it in cans. I went to a Mexican market, I went to a Brazilian market. I went to Ocean State Job lots that has a HUGE section of Bobs Red Mill. I went to Wegman's, I went to every store around that I could think of. I spent a day looking. Give me a challenge and I am like a pit bull. I won't let go. I cussed out Mark and Bruce and said to Dr. Food "Why don't they just say that you can use canned ones?" "I can't believe that they didn't suggest canned ones"



A couple of days later Dr. Food was looking at the recipe and said "It says right here in this note to use canned if you can't use the other kind" Did I feel ashamed or WHAT! I had maligned these dear guys names. I even made up a song about them.

"Oh Bruce and Mark how could you be so cruel? I can't find the goddamn hominy gruel. My life has become like a bad dream. I need to find this grain.

Hominy...hominy where can I find you?
Hominy...hominy I want to stew you.
Hominy...hominy you make me cry.
Hominy...hominy it's no lie.

Mark and Bruce you played a trick. Mark and Bruce I aint too quick"




Ok, so my song wasn't too good but man o man was this Posole GOOD!




So last week or the week before (my memory aint what it used to be) we made a lamb shoulder. I think it was a shoulder. I was going to post right away about it but I didn't. Now Dr. Food is gone for a while and I don't have anyone to ask what it was we made with it. I swear I know it was really good but I don't remember what IT was. I think it had some anchovy in the rub or the paste or whatever the hell it was. Lets forget this. Posole was good enough for this post.



I am working on a super secret Pumpkin recipe. It might be a pie and it might be a Chai Masala Pumpkin Pie. Ok, so I told. Shut up. I can keep a secret. Yes, I know there are other recipes out there for the same thing, but I dreamt it and was dismayed when I found out others thought of it first. Joke is on them. Theirs don't look as good as what I plan. So there!



Oh yeah, and MY pie is made from HEIRLOOM pumpkin and Masala. Har har har.



Honest-to-Goodness Posole Verde
from Grain Mains by Bruce Weinstein and Mark Scarbrough

NOTE: I am giving recipe for canned hominy version but the book also gives directions for soaking your dried hominy in food grade pickling lime. As god is my witness I am going to do this but for now I used canned and thus that is what I am putting down here.



3C canned homimy, drained and rinsed
3 Tbl olive oil
2 1/4lb bone-in pork stew meat or bone-in pork shoulder, cut into 3" to 4" chunks
1 medium onion, chopped
2 Poblano chiles, seeded and chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 1/2lb fresh tomatillos, husked and chopped
4C fat free, reduced-sodium chicken broth
Up to 1/2C minced fresh cilantro
1 Tbl minced fresh oregano leaves or 2 tsp dried oregano
1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp salt
Juice of 1 lime

1.Set pot over medium heat. Add the oil, then the meat. Brown the meat on all sides, taking care to turn the pieces with long-handled tongs so as to not break them up or tear them too much. It'll take 8 to 10 minutes to get the meat well browned on all sides. Transfer the pieces to a large plate.

2. Add the onion to the pot and cook, stirring often, until softened somewhat, about 4 minutes. Add the chiles and garlic; stir over the heat about 1 minute--then dump in all of the tomatillos. Continue stirring over the heat until they soften and begin to break down, about 8 minutes

3.Pour in the broth. Stir in the drained hominy and the browned meat, as well as any accumulated juices on that plate, plus the cilantro, oregano, cumin, and salt. Bring to full simmer, stirring occasionally. Cover, reduce the heat to low and simmer slowly until the meat is falling off the bone, up to 3 hours.

4. Fish the meat out of the pot with slotted spoon. Cool for a few minutes, then remove the bones and chop up the remaining meat. Stir this back into the pot with the lime juice/ As the pot comes back up to a good simmer just before you ladle it up. check to see if it needs additional salt.

The Perfect Apple Pie Lessons with Jon Rowley

You know how *I* am. Right? Well, I don't remember how this all came about other than me seeing that Jon Rowley made an incredible apple pie out of heirloom apples. I never have made a fruit pie before. I have made rabbit pie. I have made crumbles. I have made stuff. Truth be told I am a horrible baker. I think I hate it because I don't like baked goods. HOWEVER... I love apple pie. My grandmother used to make the best apple pie and I wanted one that tasted like hers.

So who better to learn how to make "The Quintessential American Apple Pie" from than Jon Rowley. I am not going to go into his credentials here. He is the master of taste. He is the guy *I* want to learn from. So, when he asked me if I wanted to learn how to make the perfect Apple pie you can bet my answer was YES!

So through tweets, emails and phone conversation, Jon taught me how to make my very first apple pie.

The conversation first went something like this:

Jon: Is your leaf lard rendered?
Me: Yup
Jon: What kind of butter do you have?
Me: I have plugra, Amish roll butter, and grocery store stuff
Jon: I use Kerrygold

Ok, so I went and got Kerrygold. I wanted to make this pie exactly like Jon did. I put everything in the freezer (except the apples) so that they would be ice cold to make the dough.


It was time to go get apples at the farm. Being the lard ass I am I didn't feel like picking them myself so I bought them at the farm store. Jon had advised me to buy about 7-10 heirloom apples. Me being me grabbed 8 different varieties of apples and just hoped that some were heirloom. Of course when Jon was on the phone with me and asked what varieties I got I pulled a "Janis" and said "Um, I don't know. I didn't write em down". I think he chuckled but it could have been a groan. Ok, ok. I did a little remembering and looking and found out I had:


Empire
Macoun
McIntosh
Gala
Honeycrisp
Fuji
Crimson Crisp
Shizuka
Braebme
Cripps Pink

People! I am no longer a fool. It is ALL about the apples. How could I not have realized that? Other than the apples it is just CRUST. What I mean is that the fruit is the STAR. Ok, we will get into this later.











I sent him a picture on my phone.






At this point I had the apples cut and was waiting for my next instructions. I might have been pacing at this point. I think I yelled at the phone "RING DAMNIT RING. JON ROWLEY I NEED YOU to CALL!" My apples were waiting! Tick Toc Tick Toc...

So the phone rang and it was Jon. He was on the road and instructing me how to finish this up. I got step by step instructions how to roll the dough out (and learned a thing or two). I was instructed to cut the dough into two. I took one piece and put back in the refidge and rolled out the other.


The conversation might have gone something like this at this point:

Jon: Rolling it out? Ok how thick is it and what is the diameter?

Me: It is 14" and about 1/4" thick

Jon: It can't be 1/4" thick. Something is wrong

Me: I am pretty sure it is 1/4" but let me get a ruler

Jon: (he didn't really say this but I had my own internal picture of what was going on in his head - This woman is an idiot.) What is it? It should be about 1.75"

Me: Rich can you come here and tell me how thick this is?

Rich: About 1/4"

Jon: Ok, don't worry. Lets put that crust into the dish.

Me: Ok, done

Jon: Now load some of the apples into the dish. Then find a bowl that fits over the apples (of course I was crashing around kitchen trying to find the right size bowl because the proper way to do it is to load apples, put dish over apples and press down to compact, add more apples, repeat) Ok, nevermind just put the apples in the dish and roll out the other ball of dough.

Me: Ok, this one is bigger.




I don't remember exactly what else went on but before I knew it I had built a pie.


It went in at 20 minutes in a 425 oven and then 40 minutes at 370. I didn't open the door or peek or nothin.





I did it. The pie was really good but there were a few problems because of me being a pie novice.



Thank you Jon. With a little practice I will be able to have this guy tell everyone that HIS grammy makes the best Apple Pie in the world.



Remember it IS all about the Apples.

Jon Rowley's Heritage Apple Pie

Crust:
2-½ cups cold all purpose King Arthur flour
8 Tablespoons leaf lard
8 Tablespoons KerryGold butter
1 teaspoon of salt
8 Tablespoons ice water (more may be needed)

The butter and lard are cut into the flour. The pieces of shortening should become smallish. Then add 8 Tbl very cold water. Mix until it all comes together (but do NOT over handle). Wrap ball of the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate at least an hour and up to overnight.

Filling:

5/8 C Sugar
2Tbl flour
1 Tbl Cinnamon
Smidgen allspice
Pinch of nutmeg
1 Tbl unfiltered apple cider vinegar
1 Tbl butter cut into pieces
Few Tbl Calvados (optional)

Sugar to sprinkle on top
1 egg white for wash


Add everything but sugar and egg and mix with wooden spoon.

Cut dough into 2 pieces. Roll out one of the pieces (put the other piece in refridge while you are doing this). Put into pie pan. Add a heap of apples. Take a bowl that will fit over apples and press down. Add more apples and press down again.

Roll out second piece of dough and lay over filling (crimp and cut steam holes). Brush with egg white and sprinkle with sugar.

Bake 425 for 20 minutes then Bake 370 for 40 minutes more.