I think I have started a food orphange or maybe I just got culture

I have to say that before I moved to Massachusetts I had lots of pets. I collected frogs that were the size of dinner plates (Kate and Gene, you know you loved "floyd" the frog), I had cameleon, I had a 185lb Saint Bernard, I had 2 cats. I needed living things to take care of. The frog went to a new home, I sold the cameleon to some guy on Craigslist, sadly doggy died and last but not least I am still stuck with the original two cats. I did go out and get another Saint Bernard named Esther (her given name from adoption people is Dakota, but that is not who she really is). So what am I getting at? I think I have taken on new adoptees. Yesterday while feeding, stirring and growing cultures I realized that perhaps I have taken on too big of a responsibility.

Adoptee 1



Kombucha. I started that a few days to go and it has a couple more to go before I divide the "mother and baby" culture and either find a new home for the baby or make more Kombucha.

Adoptee 2 and 3



Sourdough starter. There is also injera starter that looks just like it in the refrig. Feed it every 2 to 3 weeks and make something out of it. Ok, I have been doing that and all is well.

Adoptee 4

Ok, I wanted to try to make something called
Salt Rising Bread. The Amish used to make it. Instead of yeast it ferments with either potato or corn meal. I went the corn meal route. I had to start a starter.



You then need to keep the temperature consistent



See? The starters are in good hands with ME. I followed some instructions to put water in a crockpot, put the lid upside down with towels on it and put the starter on top overnight. Perfect. It kept perfect 100 degrees.

Next moring instructions say to add rest of the ingredients and let it go for 2 more hours



Then I was instructed to form into loaves and keep at an even 100 degrees over the same water or in a warm oven.



At this point the stench in the house is pretty bad. I am wondering from which adoptee the smell is coming from. I pretty much am led to the conclusion that the bread is the culprit (especially because the instructions say that it is going to smell like dirty socks or something like that. Did I get the clue then? Noooo).

I went out for a little while (the bread at this point has to sit for 5 hours). I just went for coffee with a friend. When I got back the smell was worse and when I went to put the bread in the oven this is what I found.



The handle of the crockpot melted and fused to the now waterless crockpot. Before you tell me that I am lame, hear me out. The night before I had asked the good Dr. Food if I should put more water in it. I got a "No it won't all evaporate, there is too much in there" Hummm.

I made three loaves of the bread. I was going to give one to each of my neighbors on either side of me. They looked like bricks when then came out but being the brave woman I am I had Dr Food taste it. I wouldn't say it was bad but...



I think I better cool it on the starters. I am starting to feel like I need to give them the "it's not you it is me" speech and go on my merry way.